Think Before you Speak. Educate yourself
Jan. 29th, 2018 11:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
phantasm13I have never liked Patrick Brown, now former leader of the PC Party of Ontario.
I am disappointed, angry and hurt by some of the comments friends and family members have made about the women who came forward with allegations of sexual misconduct against Mr. Brown.
Why?
Because according to their short sightedness and misconceptions those women are just making it up and therefore deliberately destroying a man's life.
Because apparently it can't be true because they didn't come forward right away OR press charges OR they must have been asking for it OR they weren't too drunk to perform sexual acts so they must have wanted it.
First of all statistically speaking the average false accusations made is 2% out of all sexual assault complaints filed in the United States and Europe.
So statistically speaking it very unlikely they are lying.
It speaks volumes that Patrick Brown's entire team resigned well before he finally conceded and stepped down.
But ultimately the reason I am so disappointed, hurt and angry?
Because by dismissing these women and their experiences as untrue because they didn't report it or press charges therefore implies that because I didn't report or press charges against the man and boys who abused me, it isn't true.
Yes I was a child. Yes my abuser was an adult. However I have never filed a police report. None of my siblings have either.
Or what about the 14 year old who boy assaulted (groped me, tried to kiss me, grabbed my by my vagina) me at an All Sections Scouting camp when I was in Ventures? I reported that one, except the leader in question told me that it was just the boy showing that he liked me and that I must have done something to make him act that way. --I am forever grateful for my friends in who were in my group's Scout troop who were incensed by my leader's lack of action and took it upon themselves to protect me and have "words" with the jerk in question.
I didn't report or file charges against the 16 year old who lived in the same apartment building as I who repeatedly accosted me and tried to force his tongue down my throat, groped me and would have potentially raped me if I hadn't managed to knee him in the balls and punch him in the face.
Didn't report it or say anything because everyone liked the guy and his parents were the assistant supers.
So by the above opinions held by you, my friends and family, it either didn't happen or it's my fault because I didn't report it or press charges.
Bullshit.
It happened.
And yes I could go about pressing charges now, but to what end? Would I be believed? Do I want to open up ALL of those memories and emotional wounds again?
I struggle with my PTSD as it is. And your comments, signing of petitions etc are triggers. Why? Because by dismissing those women the way you have you have dismissed what myself and every other person who has been sexually assaulted and never reported it/didn't report it right away or never pressed formal charges.
You are saying what happened to us means nothing.
Yes, Mr. Brown is a man who held a position of significant power. Yes his career and life as he knows it has ended. And statistically speaking, he is guilty of what he is accused of having done. CTV would not have placed themselves in a position to be sued for defamation of character without first ensuring these women's stories were based on fact. They aren't fox news, they are not the tabloids.
I know people who have been apart of Mr. Brown's political circle and not one of them were surprised by the allegations.
So is it really the women's fault? No. He was the one who behaved like an entitled ass and now he is dealing with the ramification of his actions as he should.
Being a political figure does not give him a free pass or mean that he could never have done those things.
Let me be clear ALL men and women should have to face the ramification of their actions when they have sexually assaulted someone else.
And yes, when it becomes public, this could be career ending. As it should be.
No one mistakenly sexually assaults someone else if you are a decent human being.
People keep saying that men are now afraid of how their actions will be perceived by women and that we women are blowing things way out of proportion.
That we women are on a witch hunt against men.
No. We. Are. Not..
We are just finally tired of being silent. We are finally finding strength in others coming forward. Which was the whole point of the #MeToo movement.
The only men who need to be afraid or the men who didn't think they had to treat women as real people.
And unfortunately, as the past several months have shown, there are many who abused their positions, believed they were untouchable and behaved atrociously.
Men who treat women as equals, as friends, family, partners. They have nothing to worry about.
Being a decent person is not gender specific. Not once have I said women are better than men.
Women don't come forward because we are told that some how we must have been able to prevent what happened to us. That some how it is our fault.
And all the men in my life who have been raped feel the exact same way. Because how could a woman have raped them? How could they be that weak?
Statistically more rapes go unreported because the victims fear being lynched or scrutinized if their case goes public. We are also made to feel responsible in some way for our accusers actions toward us.
As women we are often told we must have magically sent a signal that gave men a free pass to grope us, touch us, make lewd comments to us or try to force us into having sex.
Or we must have dressed a certain way.
We do not choose to be assaulted. What we wear does not determine that we want to be assaulted.
We are not things to be possessed or manipulated or coerced into doing sexual acts just because we are women.
For your reading pleasure:
https://atixa.org/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Lisak-False-Allegations-16-VAW-1318-2010.pdf
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/investigations/unfounded-sexual-assault-canada-main/article33891309/
http://theconversation.com/heres-the-truth-about-false-accusations-of-sexual-violence-88049
https://qz.com/980766/the-truth-about-false-rape-accusations/
https://web.stanford.edu/group/maan/cgi-bin/?page_id=297
I am disappointed, angry and hurt by some of the comments friends and family members have made about the women who came forward with allegations of sexual misconduct against Mr. Brown.
Why?
Because according to their short sightedness and misconceptions those women are just making it up and therefore deliberately destroying a man's life.
Because apparently it can't be true because they didn't come forward right away OR press charges OR they must have been asking for it OR they weren't too drunk to perform sexual acts so they must have wanted it.
First of all statistically speaking the average false accusations made is 2% out of all sexual assault complaints filed in the United States and Europe.
So statistically speaking it very unlikely they are lying.
It speaks volumes that Patrick Brown's entire team resigned well before he finally conceded and stepped down.
But ultimately the reason I am so disappointed, hurt and angry?
Because by dismissing these women and their experiences as untrue because they didn't report it or press charges therefore implies that because I didn't report or press charges against the man and boys who abused me, it isn't true.
Yes I was a child. Yes my abuser was an adult. However I have never filed a police report. None of my siblings have either.
Or what about the 14 year old who boy assaulted (groped me, tried to kiss me, grabbed my by my vagina) me at an All Sections Scouting camp when I was in Ventures? I reported that one, except the leader in question told me that it was just the boy showing that he liked me and that I must have done something to make him act that way. --I am forever grateful for my friends in who were in my group's Scout troop who were incensed by my leader's lack of action and took it upon themselves to protect me and have "words" with the jerk in question.
I didn't report or file charges against the 16 year old who lived in the same apartment building as I who repeatedly accosted me and tried to force his tongue down my throat, groped me and would have potentially raped me if I hadn't managed to knee him in the balls and punch him in the face.
Didn't report it or say anything because everyone liked the guy and his parents were the assistant supers.
So by the above opinions held by you, my friends and family, it either didn't happen or it's my fault because I didn't report it or press charges.
Bullshit.
It happened.
And yes I could go about pressing charges now, but to what end? Would I be believed? Do I want to open up ALL of those memories and emotional wounds again?
I struggle with my PTSD as it is. And your comments, signing of petitions etc are triggers. Why? Because by dismissing those women the way you have you have dismissed what myself and every other person who has been sexually assaulted and never reported it/didn't report it right away or never pressed formal charges.
You are saying what happened to us means nothing.
Yes, Mr. Brown is a man who held a position of significant power. Yes his career and life as he knows it has ended. And statistically speaking, he is guilty of what he is accused of having done. CTV would not have placed themselves in a position to be sued for defamation of character without first ensuring these women's stories were based on fact. They aren't fox news, they are not the tabloids.
I know people who have been apart of Mr. Brown's political circle and not one of them were surprised by the allegations.
So is it really the women's fault? No. He was the one who behaved like an entitled ass and now he is dealing with the ramification of his actions as he should.
Being a political figure does not give him a free pass or mean that he could never have done those things.
Let me be clear ALL men and women should have to face the ramification of their actions when they have sexually assaulted someone else.
And yes, when it becomes public, this could be career ending. As it should be.
No one mistakenly sexually assaults someone else if you are a decent human being.
People keep saying that men are now afraid of how their actions will be perceived by women and that we women are blowing things way out of proportion.
That we women are on a witch hunt against men.
No. We. Are. Not..
We are just finally tired of being silent. We are finally finding strength in others coming forward. Which was the whole point of the #MeToo movement.
The only men who need to be afraid or the men who didn't think they had to treat women as real people.
And unfortunately, as the past several months have shown, there are many who abused their positions, believed they were untouchable and behaved atrociously.
Men who treat women as equals, as friends, family, partners. They have nothing to worry about.
Being a decent person is not gender specific. Not once have I said women are better than men.
Women don't come forward because we are told that some how we must have been able to prevent what happened to us. That some how it is our fault.
And all the men in my life who have been raped feel the exact same way. Because how could a woman have raped them? How could they be that weak?
Statistically more rapes go unreported because the victims fear being lynched or scrutinized if their case goes public. We are also made to feel responsible in some way for our accusers actions toward us.
As women we are often told we must have magically sent a signal that gave men a free pass to grope us, touch us, make lewd comments to us or try to force us into having sex.
Or we must have dressed a certain way.
We do not choose to be assaulted. What we wear does not determine that we want to be assaulted.
We are not things to be possessed or manipulated or coerced into doing sexual acts just because we are women.
For your reading pleasure:
https://atixa.org/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Lisak-False-Allegations-16-VAW-1318-2010.pdf
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/investigations/unfounded-sexual-assault-canada-main/article33891309/
http://theconversation.com/heres-the-truth-about-false-accusations-of-sexual-violence-88049
https://qz.com/980766/the-truth-about-false-rape-accusations/
https://web.stanford.edu/group/maan/cgi-bin/?page_id=297
